I am fairly certain I gave Jesus cancer. I am conflicted on if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
Where I live there are beggers on every street, seriously, every street. I see the same people day afer day. I know what their signs say, and their dogs names.
Some now have taken to the (now illegal) offer of a window washing while you wait at the red light. People here do not know to turn their wipers on as a sign of "No thank you." I am always amused and think of how many times I would come out of the Lincoln tunnel in the New York and that would be the first thing I would do.
Beggars, homeless, hobos, street people, street rats, pan handlers (in case I have some spare gold on me?), vagrants, bums, tramp, vagabond, deadbeat, and even mendicant. Call these people what you will but you know them. You switch lanes possibly to avoid them, you pray to God not for the persons suffering but for a green light so you do not have to be approached. You stare straight ahead hoping not to be noticed. Pretend to be on your smart phone and realize the absurdity of that.
Perhaps you are of another ilk, you always keep spare change, a can of water for a hot day, possibly an extra sandwhich, Yeah, I am not one of those people.
I am of the former. I hate to admit that. Almost every time I come to a red light I am in fear of being bothered in my moving caccoon of annonymity.
Once in a while a question pops into my head.
"What if that was Jesus?"
I am not what you would call a woman of faith. I was once, but that was a long time ago. I am in constant recovery.
So, what if that was Jesus standing there on the corner? Do I offer Him my Chanel bag or wallet? The wallet is worth more than what is in it, usually nothing, and could be sold.
Sometimes I think of Jesus talking to Judas and saying, "Surely youre not saying we have the resources to save all the poor from their lot."
Obviously I recall that these words came from Andrew Lloyd Webber and not the Holy Bible. But it does get me singing and thus all this thought has made me pass the time without guilt through the red light, the beggar soon forgotten.
Until today. Today I was at a particularly long light and I saw the homeless man up ahead making his ways to my car. He did not nod at any other car, he did not pause at any other car, not even the obvious ones that would have money. Instead he stopped at my 1999 green Civic with the dents and scratches.
The man was fairly tall, had dark skin, (which may have been dirt I can not say for sure.) He had on dark pants, I am not sure of his shirt or shoes, bur he wore a long dark overcoat, frayed and tattered. His hair was a little longer than shoulder length and he adorned a ccrocheted beanie cap.
He looked right at me and said, "There you are!"
I replied with a meek "Hi"
"Enthusiastically he said, "I have not seen you in a while!"
In my mind, "What if this is Jesus?" So I asked, "How are you?" A good start to posibly talking to the son of God.
His reply, "The Lord woke me up today, so I am great. And He woke you up too so you must be having a good day."
Totally confused, and thinking to two days earlier when I was looking at mental facilities to check myself into because I feel myself slipping away, I mumbled, "I have some change."
Jesus at the red light said, "I would appreciate anything, but it is just so good to see you again."
I gave him all the change I had, and then I said, "Want a smoke?"
He said he would love one, and doesnt get to smoke all that often. I quickly dug into my box of cigarettes and handed him a few.
"Thank you so much, and thank God for waking you up today too, you better go the cars will start honking at you." He laughed and I drove off.
"That was odd", I thought. I have lived in this town a long time and I even know the beggars that truly are just passing through, I can tell you without hesitation, I have never in my life seen this man before. Yet he insisted not once but twice that he has seen me before.
A beggars ploy? Possibly.
It was when I turned the corner that I realized today is Ash Wednesday and thus the begginning of Lent. A subject I have written about many times.
I sort of chuckled thinking that was is the punishment for giving Jesus cancer?
Did I quit smoking suddenly? No. Did I feel anything other than slightly amused that any God that may exist would show Himself to me as a beggar? No.
I wsa irritated that I did not think to take His picture. I look forward to tomorrow to driving that road I drive every day, twice a day to see if He is there again.
This is Austin, Keep Jesus Weird Y'all.
