Since my mother has moved in with us, we have had to make certain adjustments. Not just the usual day to day care, but moving furniture a certain way, decorating a certain way, placing her photographs that arrive in care packages all over the house. We want her to feel at home.
My house is not a large house and simultaneously holds a southern charm, and ranch style. The front has a covered porch, just big enough for a few chairs and a small table. I like to sit out there at night, and listen to the traffic.
The back has a deck, which overlooks the spacious backyard below. We found a wonderful table and four large comfortable chairs to sit in, as mom prefers to be outside most of every day.
Another adjustment I have made is to wear a bra. I am not a fan of wearing bras, especially on hot days when I know there is little to no chance that I will be leaving the house.
My mother, maintaining her fashion sense and great looks wears a bra every day without fail. She has on more than one occasion asked why I do not.
I looked online and found the perfect solution. They are sticky bras! They look like chicken cutlets that clasp together to give some cleavage and lift.
The sticky strapless cutlets arrived last night, and I was anxious to give them a go today. I can wear them with strapless dresses, I can wear them with just a tank top. Everyone would be happy!
I applied them, gave myself and my new cleavage a once over and presented myself to mom. She noticed and smiled approvingly.
We began our day on the back deck, reading newspapers, drinking sweet tea.
Mom prefers the front, she can watch the passerby's and comment on them all. The only problem with sitting out front is mom has the misfortune of letting the dogs out.
We have installed a lock high up on the door so she won't let them out front when we are all inside, but walking out the door she often opens it wide enough to let them loose.
Wanting to make mom happy I agreed to sit in the front even though it is hotter at this time of day,
I held the two glasses of ice tea, the news paper, and my sanity in one hand.
The door opened and before I could tell her no, mom let the dogs out.
I yelled "ANNIE" which caused both my mother and my daughter of the same name to respond. I needed the younger Annie. I through her a leash and we walked down the street, both of us barefoot.
Annie caught one dog and headed home, the dog I was after was more tenacious or stupid and would not listen to me.
I picked up my pace and along with that came sweat. My feet hurt on the gravely street. Mental note to keep shoes by the front door.
As I ran I felt something begin to slide, the right side of my sticky bra lost its suction in the heat and sweat, the left side held on for dear life.
Barefoot, dog finally on a leash I had no choice but to finish the walk with one fake breast hanging down my shirt.
I had to stop, catch my breath and boob and just laugh. In the middle of the street dog in hand, breast dangling, I became the passerby people would comment on.
Finally arriving home safely, I put the dog in the house, ripped off the left sticky boob and threw them on the table.
I poured more ice tea, braless, brought it outside to mom who calmly asked, "Did you have a nice walk?"
"Yep"
"You really should wear a bra if you are going to walk in that shirt."
"Okay mom, I will look into that."
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