Excuse Me is This Tone Taken?

If you knew someone was going to be in your life for just one hour would you treat them any differently than if you knew they would be in your life until you take your last breath?

This is a question that has been circling around in my head. 

People come and go from our lives all the time.  They arrive for various reasons, and leave for just as varied reasons.  From the first introduction to the departing goodbye how should they be treated?

Obviously this can be somewhat contextual as I may not see the bank teller at the drive thru daily, or (hopefully) for even more than five minutes.  Does this give me permission to be rude, or act as though the bank teller does not even exist?

There is a saying about always acting as if someone is watching you.  This may be fine for things like picking our nose, or giving someone the finger, but does it count for how we feel about people?

The people who make it into my life I would like to think I treat in a more intimate way.  By that I mean I am more open with them, more honest, more vulnerable, and just generally a better person and friend.

If you are in my phone and have your own ringtone, you are close to me in some way.

Today I took stock of my phone and therefore my life.

 I deleted at least ten contacts.  Some had their own ringtones.  Some were considered close but now are gone from my life.

Of the ones that possessed a place in my heart and in my phone that are now gone, I have had to do some reflection upon.  I refuse to beat myself up over the loss of friends, even if I am willing to admit I was the cause. 

Did I know when we met that they would be close to my heart and I would unwittingly hurt them to the point where friendship was no longer desired?  No.  I do not want to think I begin any relationship with the thought that I will be a bad person.

In the last month I have strayed from my path.  One of my previous friends asked why I was in a destructive cycle and I could not answer.  That is unusual for me as I tend to know the reason behind most of my actions.

I have always believed that people come and go for a reason and it is our job to find out what that reason is.  It could be so simple as learning a new way to do our hair, discovering a book you never heard of, or a song that makes you smile.

I have always said that I consider myself an optimistic person, but as I said goodbye to friendships I realized that I do not think anyone who enters my life will be a permanent fixture. 

I met someone not too long ago who I get along with greatly, we laugh, we banter at the same speed, and have common interests.  I could see her being a good friend.  For a while.  The goodbye has already been written.

Knowing this I am still willing to try to be the best person I can be, the best friend I can be.  I will falter, as I have let people down in the past and I am not anywhere near perfect.

Sometimes I see my mistakes as I am making them.  Other times I do not know until after the fact.  I am working very hard on stopping the mistakes before they happen.  This includes financial decisions to how I treat the bank teller and everyone in between.

With every goodbye there is sadness, but there is also an opportunity to learn, to grow, to reflect, and to free everyone from any harm.

With every hello there is an opportunity to love, be gracious, caring, and honest.

I am a believer in love and happy endings for everyone in my life, and in my phone.

Perhaps it is time I assign myself my own ringtone.