Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Can I Wear a Tiara With This?

Do clothes really define a person?

By freak accident I left my suitcase at home in Texas and boarded the plane with only the clothes I was wearing.  Fortunately I had my makeup in my purse, and jewelry on me. 

Slightly daunting knowing I would be wearing the same outfit for four days, in weather I have not been in for years, my friend has graciously offered me some of her clothes. 

When I was married and the children were little I had a uniform of sorts.  I was in the role of young wife and mother.  My uniform reflected more of a youthful arrogance.  I was a runner, thin, and  proud of my body.  I wore my hair long and natural, and little to no makeup. 

My clothing consisted of overalls with a crop top underneath, or jean shorts bought in the men's section  worn around my waist.  black leather belt and a tight tank top.  My shoes were Birkenstock.

At that time in my life I do not recall owning any skirts or dresses.  I did not care about shoes or jewelry.  My $35 wedding ring was plenty and I adored it.

At some point after my husband died and I gained weight my uniform began to change.  I started wearing skirts all the time, or dresses.  Light cotton clothing that felt feminine and pretty to me.  I still clung on to my tank tops a I can not stand tee shirts. 

Was I over compensating with my clothing to feel better about myself having been uncomfortable in my body?  Did wearing more feminine clothing make me feel prettier since I did not have that natural confidence I used to have?

One night not too long ago out at a bar a girl and I switched persona's.  Simply by switching what we had on our heads.  I donned an elaborate black feather clip and she had her knitted cap on.

Almost immediately she began to adapt a feminine attitude, flipping her hair, and gesturing with her hands.  I, on the other hand sat differently, knees apart and leaned on one.  Someone took a picture of us and I am throwing some sort of pseudo gang sign and she is posing like a starlet.

Here I am in New Jersey, not in my clothes, wearing for the first time in over ten years jean shorts around my waist and a loose tank top.  It feels foreign and familiar all at once. 

Do I feel any less feminine?  Maybe.  But I also feel a sense of confidence I have not felt in a long time as well.  Brings me back to a time where I did not doubt my body image.  A time when I felt there was no need to prove to anyone that I am a woman.  I could wear what I wanted to and feel secure.

My overalls are still hanging in my closet at home and waiting for me to shed the outer weight so I might wear them again.

My career dictates a certain amount of style that overalls would not be part of.  My closet holds a myriad of personalities.

Which one is really me?  All of them?  None of them?

I sit here in jeans feeling slightly cocky, I must admit I am longing to go in to New York and shop for some clothes that fit the me who I am now.  The more feminine me, the one who likes the feel of a skirt around my legs when the wind blows.

My outer wear reflects how I am feeling inside.  In truth when the clothing is shed and I am left without the security I have no idea who I am.  Even then I hide beneath the blankets and protect myself.

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